Weazie Oekaki Intermediate

Weazie Oekaki Intermediate
	Welcome to Weazie Oekaki's critique & improvement board! Before drawing, please read the rules at this link ^{Updates: AH SURVEY'S CLOSED finally after like. months?? like 4 months. incredible. ((I'll be posting a summary of responses etc soon)) - Toasteh, 08 May 2014}
Weekly Theme: Water! - Local Admins: Anne Dyari

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ShiPainter
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Aikara @ Wednesday, April 28th 2010, 1:58 AM

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ShiPainter
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Aikara @ Friday, April 23rd 2010, 9:40 PM

title .-. tryout numbah one

came out bleh though

(Edited on April 28, 2010, 1:07 am)

Star @ Thursday, April 29th 2010, 9:55 PM

ugh
im too lazy to crit
so ill just say a few things
the hand thats holding the staff
seems too straight
uh
i dont get the leg on the right
i think youre trying to do perspective
idk

uhhh
are you using burn/dodge
its better
to just pick the colors
& color it in
because burn & dodge + pencil = a no no
uhh
i really like the right hand
the pinky seems too small
but its really nice

your lines are really clean & i appreciate that

anywho, goodluck on your next tryout.

Aikara @ Friday, April 30th 2010, 12:15 AM

thanks for the crits

i didn't use dodge and burn though.. -takes note to make sure her shading doesn't look like that-

Kyuubi-Kitsune @ Friday, April 30th 2010, 4:37 PM

uuhh yeah i was too lazy to crit too so I waited for someone else to crit first gggggggg
but yeah agreed w/ star
I think next time you should use thicker lines and taper
cuz it looks really choppy here??
And errr I just think that you should also give your next one a more realistic background that the characters are interacting with?
Cuz I've seen your stuff on PHO and you tend to do this sort of background a lot... and I'd really like you to stretch yourself :3

(Edited on April 30, 2010, 4:38 pm)

soulwithin465 @ Monday, May 3rd 2010, 10:21 AM

Wow I really like the box theme going on here! Good use of textures and design!
I also enjoy the color pallet; the colors go very well with each other. However, there are a few major flaws within the anatomy of the subject. It appears that you were attempting to do something with perspective, and while I do applaud you for doing something as tricky as perspective, I find the proportions to be rather wonky. The difference in size between the left and right eye is rather distracting and the left leg seems rather awkward. Also relating more to anatomy the arms seem a tad bit too long. But aside from that the shading is quite decent. It?s obvious where the light source is coming from and I find the object he?s holding rather interesting. Overall this is a nice tryout and I can see that you put quite a bit of time and effort into it! For your next tryout I suggest using references such as photos or real life observation. They?ll help with getting proper proportions and correct anatomy. Well, good luck and I hope this helps >u<

(Edited on May 3, 2010, 10:23 am)

Seidal @ Saturday, May 8th 2010, 12:49 AM

The boxes look cool in the bg and the gadget/weapon he's holding in this right hand works well with it. That texture in the hair is pretty sweet too <33

The crits above covered a lot. As for suggestions or tips, I sometimes like to use lines that aren't 100% black, but instead a really dark grey. They sometimes give an illusion of cleaner lines. Also, the bezier / curved line tool works really nicely on living subjects than straight lines. It might be frustrating at first, but I can see an improvement from your last tryouts

Good luck! Keep going!

(Edited on May 8, 2010, 11:28 am)

ShiPainter
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Aikara @ Wednesday, February 3rd 2010, 10:30 AM

shi died on me 9 times while working on this...

but anyway! tryout 2!

first tryout:
http://oekaki.weazie.com/intermediate/pictures/242.png

o.o; in may

(Edited on February 3, 2010, 2:14 am)

Anne Dyari @ Wednesday, February 3rd 2010, 11:29 AM

I say out, but you're really close.

Your shading technique is quite nice and smooth, but there needs to be more in order to define a lightsource. On the yellow dress, on the middle I can only see a light highlight, and no shadows following the fold lines on the front.
So next time, dynamic shading, and perhaps a reff for a more dynamic pose? Symmetry may be appealing, but creating symmetry in movement is art.
Nice use of the tones, and the texture of the hair, and the dress design is very cool.

Please come back and tryout again when you feel you're ready ^^

Kyuubi-Kitsune @ Wednesday, February 3rd 2010, 3:15 PM

I'm gonna have to say out as well

What Anne said- you have to work on your shading a bit-- don't be afraid of strong lighting! And yes, a more dynamic pose would be nice; she looks awfully... stiff.
But I do think you have what it takes, with some practice you should be able to get in! :]

.Psychopath. @ Sunday, February 7th 2010, 3:31 PM

sorry im gonna haveta say out too.
i agree, you need to show more shading to make it pop more.. and yes, a more dynamic pose would've been nice.
good luck next time tho!

ShiPainter
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Aikara @ Sunday, May 31st 2009, 11:58 AM

I promise, promise promise I'll finish my tryouts this time.

Anyway, crit away.

Edit: Full view please =)

(Edited on May 31, 2009, 12:01 pm)

Anne Dyari @ Sunday, May 31st 2009, 1:48 PM

I like the cleaness of your lines, very nice, and the lighting is really soft.

Don't be afraid of shadows, darker shadows will bring out the highlights so much stronger. Also, incorporate the character into the background. We want to see the grass bent under his paws.

The sky is very pretty, I love the sky gradient you used, and the clouds are perfect, I like how they're lighter blue instead of white, gives it a very night feel.
Good luck on your next tryout ^^

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